The Misadventures of Hammond Hammer-Hand
by McSlendy
Summary: The Dragonborn - Hammond Hammer-Hand - after another careless night of debauchery with Sanguine, somehow ends up finding himself in the world of HTTYD. Then he meets Hiccup and the gang, and things kick off from there. Follow him and his new friends as he tries to find a way back home while having the greatest misadventures of his life.


_Disclaimer:_

_I don't own anyone or anything associated with HTTYD and TESV: Skyrim, but Hammond is my OC so I own him._

_Author's Note:_

_Hey guys._

_So I decided to make a humorous crossover with TESV: Skyrim and HTTYD, starring my Nord character from the game, Hammond Hammer-Hand, or Hammond for short. I don't know what spurred me to do this; it just sort of happened, so don't ask. Anyways, in this crossover, Hammond will somehow meet up with Hiccup and company and go do stuff with them together, depending on what I have in mind for the story and whatnot. Then more stuff will happen._

_However, be warned: In some parts of the story, there will be bits of TES lore or figures mentioned, so you if you don't know what's Hammond talking or ranting on about you may want to look it up quickly on the internet. Oh yeah, I made the rating T, because apparently Hammond has a thing for bad language and humor... Maybe. Meh, I don't care. And by the way, this story is set right after Dagur zapped Alvin using the Skrill. To clarify, right after "A View To A Skrill, Part II"._

_I will also variate from one POV to another time to time, even going as far as to make someone think or do things in first person. That should keep things interesting... hopefully. Keep that in mind, or otherwise things might get a little confusing or too fast paced for you, and I don't want that to happen. And so,__ there you have it; enjoy the completely random story my mind cooked up._

_BUT, before I continue on with the story, let me note down what Hammond's like just to clear up some things:_

- He's the Dragonborn. He has slayed many dragons to unlock Shouts with their souls, also to master them. _(Duh.)_  
- He's a Nord. But he's a master warrior, thief, and mage all in one. _(Blame me for mastering all the skill trees.)_  
- He has joined nearly all the factions in Skyrim _(The Companions, The Thieves Guild, The Dark Brotherhood, etc.)_  
- He's married to Lydia, and has adopted two orphans named Lucia and Sophie. _(He loves them all. Very much.)_  
- He's a Stormcloak. He has slayed Imperials more than other Stormcloaks could care to count. _(Badass.)_  
- He's on good terms with Paarthurnax, the brother of Skyrim's equivalent to Ragnarok, Alduin the World-Eater. _(Ha.)_  
- He's friendly towards werewolves and vampires, provided they don't attack him. _(Two certain people come to mind.)_  
- He was once a bloodthirsty, heart-eating werewolf. And he was once a life-sucking vampire, too. _(Don't ask.)  
_- He has met and served several Daedric Princes, but never bothered with the Princes who are evil. _(He has morals.)_  
- He's sarcastic when the moment calls for it, but when he gets serious, you better get out of his way. _(Or else.)_  
- He's a master smith, enchanter, and alchemist. But he considers these passions of his as hobbies. _(Bored much?)_  
- He has saved Skyrim and by extension Solstheim from great evil. The former, twice; the latter, once. _(He's a hero.)_  
- He hates the Thalmor - supremacist Elves - with the passion of a burning sun. _(And boy, does he want to end them.)_  
- And finally, he's very powerful. But his power may have something to do with his enchanted gear... _(I'm a cheater.)_

_Now that's done with, on with the story! Hope you enjoy it, everyone!_

* * *

_-Normal POV-_

It was a relatively normal day on Berk, and all was well on the small island in the middle of the Meridian of Misery.

Little did everyone know that was soon going to change, however.

Hiccup and the gang were flying around the island on patrol, looking for signs of Berserker ships nearby. Ever since Dagur assumed command of the Outcasts after overthrowing Alvin the Treacherous, his Berserker fleet had gotten considerably bigger, not to mention making him even more dangerous. It came without saying for the Vikings of Berk that they really had to be careful now, with what the threat of Dagur invading and overrunning Berk looming and all.

"Okay guys, let's fly a little higher! Let's see if we can spot Dagur's ships!" Hiccup yelled over to his friends.

"But aren't we high enough, Hiccup?" Snotlout asked indignantly. "We could get shot down, you know!"

"I know, Snotlout!" Hiccup yelled back. "But I'd rather not take any chances of Dagur sneak attacking Berk!"

Toothless flew higher. "And besides," Hiccup continued softly. "We've got our dragons with us. Ain't that right, bud?"

Toothless smiled, and so did Fishlegs who affectionately patted Meatlug. _"Thanks for keeping me safe, Meatlug."_

The Gronckle crooned at her rider. Then the twins suddenly flew right next to Hiccup, causing a commotion fighting.

Astrid stared disbelievingly and made Stormfly fly closer to them and Hiccup. "_Again?_ They're fighting _again?_"

_"Butt-elf!"_ Ruffnut punched her brother.

_"Bride of Grendel!"_ Tuffnut returned the favor to his sister.

Hiccup could only sigh as his Night Fury snorted at their antics. "Oh, what are you guys fighting over about _now?_"

"Ruffnut said she saw something lying on a beach a while back. I told her it was just a big fish!" Tuff said proudly.

"No way it was a big fish, you idiot!" Ruffnut bristled, preparing to sock her brother. "I'm telling you! It was a guy!"

Hiccup's and Astrid's attention was immediately caught at that. "Wait, did you say guy?" Astrid asked in alarm.

"Yep." Ruffnut admitted nonchalantly, shrugging. "But I didn't get a good look at him though, because Tuffnut here-"

"Is an idiot!" Tuffnut proclaimed happily, pointing at himself, but then he suddenly looked confused. "Wait, what?"

Ruffnut giggled, jerking her thumb at him. "See what I mean?"

Hiccup and Astrid shared glances. _"Okay,"_ Hiccup began, frowning a bit. "Where'd you see him?"

"Oh, a couple of minutes that way." Ruffnut pointed casually, before she grinned and punched her brother again.

"Oh, I am hurt! I am very much hurt!" Tuffnut groaned as he rubbed his throbbing arm, then grinned. _"Do it again!"_

This time Barf and Belch rolled their eyes at their riders' shenanigans as they continued to fly towards Snotlout and Fishlegs without their guidance. The two other boys of the group were now a little far ahead of the others, with the Zippleback halfway to them. As soon as the dragon was out of earshot, Astrid turned to a serious looking Hiccup.

"Hiccup? You don't think it's Alvin... do you?" She asked him worriedly.

Tribe-less or not, Alvin the Treacherous was still a major threat to Berk - even when taken down several pegs.

The lanky teenager pursed his lips, but kept his look. "I don't know, Astrid. But we'd better check it out, though."

When Fishlegs suddenly turned around, he saw Astrid and Hiccup lagging behind, still talking to each other. Worried a bit, he signaled for everyone else to stop, as he was ahead of them somehow despite being on one of the slowest dragons in the Archipelago. This caused the others to look back at the pair who took a break from taking point in today's patrolling. Even the twins stopped bickering and Snotlout flew a little higher, albeit discreetly.

"Guys? Is something the matter?" He called out to them.

"Hiccup and I are going to check up on something Ruffnut said." Astrid replied. "You guys wanna check it out too?"

"Sure, why not." Snotlout nodded eagerly. "Dibs on whatever's on that beach!"

* * *

_-Normal POV-_

A tall, blond and well-built man was beginning to stir on the sandy beach of a random island, groaning all the while.

He opened his blue eyes slowly, blinking at first. Then instantly his hand shot up to his head in trying to assuage his **_MASSIVE_** hangover. He rolled over to his back, groaning even louder, instantly burying his face in his palms and wishing that the repeating sounds of the waves crashing against the shore would have at least the decency to give him some mercy and just shut up for five minutes. The sounds continued to echo in his ears, and his ears twitched.

"Gods, I will never drink with Sanguine ever again. The sly bastard spiked my drink..._ twice_." He muttered to himself.

His head still hurt everywhere when he decided to brave the hangover, carefully and slowly getting up to his feet and resisting the urge to throw up what used to be his dinner. He blinked and blinked to get rid of the trailing after-images that stuck in his eyes, and once they were gone he breathed a sigh of relief and tentatively reached for his backpack, which miraculously hadn't been damaged in any way possible. Hopefully, his things were all in there too.

He smiled as he rummaged through the backpack's contents, checking each of them to ensure nothing was lost during his inebriation. Among his belongings he could see his potions, spare clothes, smithing materials, weapons, armor, and of course, the ever sacred cases of Honningbrew and Black Briar mead. _Delicious, delicious mead. Mmm... mead._ The man immediately shook his head to focus. He had to concentrate right now. Now was no time for drinking.

Then he found what he was looking for: a sealed anti-hangover concoction that he made himself.

"Oh, thank Talos." He murmured in gratitude, before taking off the cork and chugging the contents down with glee.

He felt immensely better soon afterwards. Smacking his lips absentmindedly, he chucked the empty bottle into his backpack and pulled out his armor to put it on, not caring if anyone happened to be watching the unexpected strip show. Finishing in a minute, he pulled out his warhammer next and then strapped it to his back. He grunted due to the additional weight, but after easing himself a little, the man no longer felt the burden of his armor and weapon.

"Much better." He purred to himself, flexing his shoulders and muscles. "Now, back to the order of business..."

The man looked around curiously, taking in the sights and the sounds. Everything felt foreign to him, even the air.

"Where in Tamriel am I? And how did I even get here?" He asked himself, cupping his chin with his hand.

Humming, the blond man failed to see the five colorful specks getting closer in the skies above him.

* * *

_-Normal POV-_

_"Woah!"_ Hiccup gasped in surprise, seeing the armed warrior standing alone ahead. "Everybody, fly down! _Quick!_"

Sensing the urgency in their leader's voice, the teens quickly obeyed without a word.

They flew down until Hiccup could no longer see the man on the beach. He then went off his dragon, and the others did the same. They now formed a half circle facing him with looks saying that they wanted to know what he saw, meaning they realized Hiccup had noticed something bad. They were mentally preparing themselves for a fight.

"Guys, there's a warrior on the beach Ruffnut pointed out to us!" He said in a barely contained whisper.

"Wait, warrior?" Snotlout burst out, his eyebrows shooting up in alarm - their suspicions were correct.

"Yeah." Hiccup nodded grimly. "And he looks dangerous. But he's alone; he was the only guy I saw on that beach."

Toothless gave a low growl, signalling that he wanted to hurt this man. Hiccup placated him: _"It's okay, bud."_

"Is it Alvin?" Astrid asked coldly, her grip on her axe tightening. The others' grips on their weapons tightened too.

Hiccup shook his head. "No, it's not Alvin." He paused. _"Thank the Gods."_ He added in an afterthought.

The rest of the gang breathed out as one and shared relieved looks with each other.

"But wait a minute, Hiccup." Fishlegs began in a small voice. "If he's not Alvin, then who's he?"

"I dunno 'Legs, but he doesn't look like he's from around here." Hiccup replied, pondering the question himself.

Then suddenly, a new voice made itself known.

_"You could try asking me, you know."_

The Berkian Vikings instantly whirled around to face the newcomer.

It was the warrior that Hiccup was talking about. And he was casually sitting cross-legged on a rock across them.

_"Hello. My name's Hammond Hammer-Hand. Nice to meet you all."_

* * *

_And here's the end of Chapter I of my completely random crossover fic, The Misadventures of Hammond Hammer-Hand! So, tell me what you think of it guys! If you think this story might get interesting later, please do tell me, and if you want to make suggestions feel free to tell me. Also, constructive criticism and flames are welcomed too; I need every criticism I can get just so I can improve on the story and by extension my skill set in making stories like this. _

_Anyhow, thanks for taking your time reading this fic, readers. I appreciate it._

_McSlendy signing out, and hopefully I'll continue this fic... unlike the other fics I had..._


End file.
